Telltale’s back, and love is turning Dun Laoghaire Fifteeners inside out

Dun Laoghaire Flying Fifteen

After many years in the wilderness, Telltale has emerged from the gloom to provide that “extra insight” into the Dun Laoghaire Flying Fifteen Fleet.

As always Telltale will not reveal his/her identity or any sources but will continue to apply the highest journalistic standard to ensure that no one has to believe everything Christie writes.

 The Celtic Tiger may not be back but the 2016 season kicked off with loads of upgrades, new sails and new boats in Dun Laoghaire. Telltale can categorically confirm that Abacus Cooper is not investing in anything new and believes that his impressive winter maintenance programme continues to serve him well especially in the light airs.  

Unlike Abacus, others have splashed the cash with gay abandon almost like the glory days for Major Dumpleforth.

Telltale was delighted to see romance flourishing in the fleet, not that anyone can ever match the unbridled love that flows in the Fantastic Mr. Fox. However, it’s good to see Benny all loved up and sailing with his new squeeze.

Telltale was delighted to see that Gerry and John have kissed and made up and reaffirmed (not in the biblical sense) their love with the brand new (yet to be named) boat. Telltale understand that Gerry is reluctant to jinx the magic by trying to name it, but serious suggestions are welcome. Fraser, Gabriel and Joe have upgraded, having purchased a fresh water baby from the UK, soon to be named Defcon3.

Pumper Green continues to be infatuated with Charles but the effort of keeping a long-distance relationship going is proving difficult and he’s rumoured to be sidling up to a number of local rock stars to fill the void left when Charles is playing hard to get.

Pumper’s mast break was unfortunate; however, nothing seems to knock this man ‘off course’. Having moved his tool shed to the NYC for mast installation purposes, he was back on the water within 40 hours leading the fleet.

As mentioned, there has been some big spending over the winter be it with “refurbs” or new purchases. Telltale has been told that the class captain was moved to tears when Thinboy Marshall rocked in for preseason training having shed two stone, bringing the whole “refurb” thing to a whole new level. Telltale has also learned that the “Gorman Chasers” i.e. Poole/Mathews, sent their boat north during the winter for some sneaky work…. and are now trying to gloss over it all with a few new stickers.

Rumours abound that Major Dumpleforth is about to make a spectacular return to the bay from the set of Location, Location, Locationwith (another) new crew to be inducted. Telltale believes enthusiasm levels are back up to those last seen in the early noughties. He’s reclaimed his spot at the top of the slip so only time will tell.

Telltale can reveal that Davie G’s application to the Sports Council and the ISA for a “new cover grant” is progressing well and he hopes to have a definitive answer within weeks.  In the event that the grant application is unsuccessful Telltale believes that Christie has offered to paint the old cover blue.

The DLFF owe a huge debt of gratitude to DBSC Race Management and Telltale, on behalf of the fleet, would like to thank Brian Mathews (newly appointed National PRO and FF 2016 Nationals PRO, Jack Roy (International PRO and ex London Olympics fame) and Eddie Totterdell (budding PRO) for last week’s fine display of lap counting. It is believed that Brian’s confidence was shattered after the experience, however he is ‘getting back on the horse’.

Telltale is understands that Geraldine O’Neill is more than satisfied with Mick’s new pole and was heard to say that, with limited effort, it pops out with ease now.

With the Dick Doctor and his grease monkey showing such early form at this stage of the season Telltale has tipped them for great things this season.

Finally, the new fleet yellow spinnaker is attracting great attention and is being shared across the fleet as planned. Telltale would however like to remind everyone that it should not be flown inside out as it confuses the fleet to and Telltale was recently asked who are new our sponsors, “itsabushi”.

So it’s onwards and upwards for the 2016 season. Portaferry look out… more instalments to follow.


Disclaimer: Telltale is NOT written by the webmaster!

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